Germany Day 5.1

Well, Mom’s out of the tournament. Right now she is off somewhere beating herself up, which makes me sad. I am not sad that she lost. I am sad that she does not seem to realize how badass she is.

Everyone I spoke to about Mom says she is a better fencer than she gives herself credit for. I don’t know a thing about saber fencing. But I could see how she was getting in her own way sometimes. It’s what I do. Even in rounds she won, she would be disappointed for not doing better.

It’s imposter syndrome. When something goes wrong, you replay your mistakes over and over again in your head. When something goes right, you attribute it to luck. You credit all the bad things to yourself and all the good things to something else.

Mom has a great coach and is a strong fencer. She just needs to give herself more credit. It will help her relax. That is what I heard her coach explaining. She gets frenetic and makes mistakes. The more badass she realizes she is, the more badass she will be, which is kind of a scary thought, actually. I am not sure the universe could handle all that badassery.


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